MC_Frontalot--Favoritism-RIAA2012_WILL_SAVE_THIS-READNFO-WEB-2008-WUS_INT

Section
MP3/FLAC
Group
WUS_INT
Size
0 B
Files
0
Date
2012-07-30

NFO

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▒░  ▄▄▓▓▓▓██▀                                                              ▒░
▓▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░:░   Release notes    ░▒▓▓▓▓▓▒▒░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▒░
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▒░                           ▀                                             ░▒
▒░                                                                         ░░
░░ Rel. date .: 07.28.2012                                                 ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Artist ....: MC Frontalot                                               ░░
░░ Album .....: Favoritism                                                 ░░
░░ Genre .....: Hip-Hop                                                    ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Label .....: n/a                                                        ░░
░░ Catalog # .: n/a                                                        ░░
░░ Language ..: English                                                    ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Source ....: WEB                                                        ░░
░░ Size ......: 168.87 MB                                                  ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ www.farmsex.com/council                                                 ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Dear Front,                                                             ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ First off we'd like to thank you for your album and for being a content ░░
░░ creator.  If it wasn't for people like you, we, Scenesters, wouldn't    ░░
░░ have any ways to get credibility by stealing someone respectable's art  ░░
░░ form and claim notoriety over it.  So cudos to you for that.            ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Secondly, we'd also like to give you some more props for taking the time░░
░░ to (somewhat) learn The Order Of Things:  namely scene standards.  By   ░░
░░ properly filling in ID3 fields, following naming conversions(no special ░░
░░ chars/etc) and hell by ALSO writting in your OWN NFO you have saved us  ░░
░░ most of the workload.  Therefore we can leech more.  So it's win/win:   ░░
░░ your words are out while our leeches are in.  That's awesome and we will░░
░░ forever love you for it. <3                                             ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ However it's not all positive we're afraid.  Indeed, as you didn't knew ░░
░░ our current mp3 ruleset was written by retail bigots.  And what we mean ░░
░░ by this, Front, is that because you have chosen numerous different      ░░
░░ versions of the same encoder, we cannot push your shits worldwide for   ░░
░░ the kids to swip.  Well, we can, but limitedly.  Hence that lame _INT   ░░
░░ tag.  Sorry if that looks cheap but rest assure that as whorish as we   ░░
░░ are we cannot possibly do best.  Pushing your shit as an internal was   ░░
░░ the only way we had if we wanted to promote your (sekxy?) arse/get      ░░
░░ famous off your own fame.  And we surely took that shot.                ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Indeed, if it wasn't for people living in a parallel reality, like the  ░░
░░ music industry does, then your artistic work WOULDA been spread         ░░
░░ worldwide and more efficiently without that cheap ass _INT tag.         ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Front, next time, use the same encoder version FOR ALL YOUR TRACKS!     ░░
░░ Then it'll be "release-able".  But it's gotta be THE SAME F'N STUPID    ░░
░░ ENCODER/VERSION OR ELSE IT DOESN'T DESERVE TO LIVE #$@%@%!$!$!, so says ░░
░░ the bigots!  Pretty stupid, uh?  Welp, just so you know, we do NOT      ░░
░░ endorse those rules therefore we won't apologize for those              ░░
░░ retarded choices.                                                       ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Lastly, being living legends doesn't entitle us to just complain and do ░░
░░ nothing about it.  Hellll no Front!  Rest assure that the guys who are  ░░
░░ handling your ePromotion for this release (hence us) DO have a much     ░░
░░ wider, and brighter, view of what's up!  In other words, we have taken  ░░
░░ the liberty to add "our" PROPOSED ruleset that should accomodate        ░░
░░ commercialy available music coming formatted like your's was, for       ░░
░░ several years to come.  Not just for a couple of seasons.               ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ In closing Front, we sincerely hope that you'll get to read this one day░░
░░ and by the time that you do then we'd like to extend a massive salute,  ░░
░░ from us to you, from your **TRUE** PSEUDO-friends in the Underground.   ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ With love,                                                              ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ WASHED UP SCENESTERS 2012++                                             ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ ===                                                                     ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ FAVORITISM                                                              ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ .                                                                       ░░
░░ Twenty tip top tracks by MC Frontalot                                   ░░
░░ Compiled for the Humble Music Bundle I                                  ░░
░░ .                                                                       ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Hi kids! It's your old pal Front here. Thanks for swiping this 'best of'░░
░░ album off the internet and/or donating big dollars to the humble bundle ░░
░░ folks / me / charities in the process. This is the first time I've ever ░░
░░ tried to make a mix tape of my own stuff. If you like LINER NOTES then  ░░
░░ get the fuck ready because I am about to type lots of words about why I ░░
░░ chose these particular twenty tracks.                                   ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ First, I should point out that this is kind of a mish-mash of my own    ░░
░░ favorite stuff and stuff that seems to have become fan favorites over   ░░
░░ the years. I've left out several of the real crowd-pleasers in the cases░░
░░ where my album versions have what I consider to be major defects (Pitch ░░
░░ Dark's got at least 8 bars too much rapping in the second verse, Yellow ░░
░░ Lasers without the Paul Simon sample never really worked out). I also   ░░
░░ left out some of my own pet faves because they're dated or              ░░
░░ uncharacteristic or I don't know if anyone else has ever enjoyed them (I░░
░░ Heart Fags and Special Delivery are each about a president who's been   ░░
░░ gone for years, In Arrears is too dreamy, Listen Close and A Very       ░░
░░ Unlikely Occurrence are too personal). So we're already wallowing in    ░░
░░ compromise and disappointment. It's just like hanging out with MC       ░░
░░ Frontalot in real life!                                                 ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ I think, though, that if you haven't heard my stuff before, and you     ░░
░░ happen to have an hour and eighteen minutes free to check me out, this  ░░
░░ is the set of tracks that will show you whether you're going to be a fan░░
░░ or a hater. And if you've got a passing familiarity already, I hope you ░░
░░ find a lot of ground in here that you otherwise would not have had the  ░░
░░ impetus to explore. My five albums (2005-2011) are each equally         ░░
░░ represented. You'll notice my rapping and production are charting all   ░░
░░ over the aptitude scale as you hop forwards and backwards through time. ░░
░░ Sorry about that! It is the sad fact of releasing material to the public░░
░░ that once you've let anything out there, you've set the form that it's  ░░
░░ going to have forever. Still kind of want to re-record Yellow Lasers,   ░░
░░ though.                                                                 ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 1.                                                                      ░░
░░ Tongue-Clucking Grammarian                                              ░░
░░ Album: Final Boss (2008). Lyric by Damian Hess. Music by Damian Hess,   ░░
░░ Gaby Alter, and David T. Cheong. Drum programming: Baddd Spellah.       ░░
░░ Keyboards: Gm7 and Baddd Spellah. Scratching: DJ Snyder. Ian Shoales    ░░
░░ appears courtesy of DuckΓÇÖs Breath Mystery Theater.                    ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ The idea to do this song was in my head from when I was probably twelve ░░
░░ or thirteen years old. It came out of my favorite Ian Shoales routine,  ░░
░░ "Hearts On Bumpers," which begins "I'm not one of those tongue-clucking ░░
░░ grammarians who leaps on split infinitives and misplaced modifiers like ░░
░░ a mongoose on a cobra. I don't even read much." He goes on to explain   ░░
░░ what he does not like about bumper sticker grammar and symbol/word      ░░
░░ swapping. It's a little like the kind of rant certain old-timers will   ░░
░░ launch into when exposed to text messaging abbreviation and emoticons,  ░░
░░ but from way before those things existed. Anyway, I wanted Snyder to cut░░
░░ that routine up at the front of this track but I could not get my hands ░░
░░ on a copy (oh how the treasures of youth prove ephemeral), so I had to  ░░
░░ settle for one of Ian's ten thousand other awesome verbal snippets.     ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ This is one of Spellah's most writhingly propulsive percussion          ░░
░░ arrangements and I love Gm7's filthy organ accompaniment. It's one of   ░░
░░ the few numbers I've ever written with proper crowd participation       ░░
░░ (you're supposed to wag your finger at me while you chant "tut, tut")   ░░
░░ and we've started maybe two hundred live shows with this song. It's a   ░░
░░ keeper.                                                                 ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ The lyric treads dangerously close to being a list song (more on that   ░░
░░ later) but I feel like it has a couple things going for it. First, there░░
░░ were not any raps about grammar out there (sorry, Schaffer, your song   ░░
░░ about usage doesn't quite count). Second, it is as much about the       ░░
░░ attitude of the grammarian as it is about grammar: elegant communication░░
░░ and its appreciation are a couple of things that I am glad to be so     ░░
░░ snooty about. I mean, I'm snooty about lots of shit. But in most cases  ░░
░░ that makes me ashamed of myself.                                        ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 2.                                                                      ░░
░░ Charisma Potion                                                         ░░
░░ Album: Zero Day (2010). Charisma Potion. Lyric by Damian Hess. Music by ░░
░░ Damian Hess, Gaby Alter, and David T. Cheong. Backing vocal: Kimmy      ░░
░░ Gatewood. Keyboards: Gm7. Drum programming, additional keyboards: Baddd ░░
░░ Spellah. Drums: The Categorical Imperative. Syllable emphasis skeptic:  ░░
░░ Blak Lotus.                                                             ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Speaking of being snooty about words, most well-educated folks will     ░░
░░ think I've got the wrong version of "attribute"  in the chorus of this  ░░
░░ song. This didn't even occur to me until after I'd recorded it... I knew░░
░░ what I meant, I knew I was singing "at" and not "uh" in the first       ░░
░░ syllable. But of course if I twist the scansion hard enough to make it  ░░
░░ pleasing musically, it actually BECOMES the other word. Oops! Haw haw.  ░░
░░ The little skit at the end with Brandon tricks you into thinking I did  ░░
░░ it on purpose.                                                          ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ The toothy low-end synth in this one was hard for me and Brendan Brown  ░░
░░ to mix. I remember being super attached to how much it hurt, and not    ░░
░░ wanting to take the edges off. We had to wrestle hard to keep the whole ░░
░░ song from fatiguing our ears. I think we pulled it off. Also, this is   ░░
░░ one of my favorite lyrics. I tried to keep it unclear whether the potion░░
░░ is a traditional social lubricant like booze or some kind of figurative ░░
░░ salve, a formula I devised (eventually in life) to overcome awkwardness ░░
░░ by perceiving, analyzing, and then simulating charisma.                 ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 3.                                                                      ░░
░░ Power User                                                              ░░
░░ Album: Solved (2011). Lyric by Damian Hess. Music by Damian Hess,       ░░
░░ Stephen Kania, and Daniel Wilkes. Chorus and backing verse vocals: Molly░░
░░ Hager. Sequencing: Stephen Kania and Daniel Wilkes. Scratching: Daniel  ░░
░░ Wilkes.                                                                 ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ This is probably the most straight-up hip-hop groove I've ever worked   ░░
░░ with. Gm7 and Spellah and I get wrapped up in a lot of moody textures,  ░░
░░ big arrangement shifts, chord progressions. Here, Kania and Wilkes      ░░
░░ provide a piece of music that is blissfully free from all that. And     ░░
░░ Molly's vocals are sexy as hell.                                        ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ The idea of the song is pretty simple: I'm having an SM relationship    ░░
░░ with my computer, with a little hint at the end that I'm the one        ░░
░░ chained. Anyone who builds their own boxes can probably relate. Mac     ░░
░░ people will instead scratch their heads and go back to wondering what it░░
░░ would be like to have access to settings.                               ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 4.                                                                      ░░
░░ I Hate Your Blog                                                        ░░
░░ Album: Secrets From The Future (2007). Lyric by Damian Hess and Rodney  ░░
░░ McBride. Music by Damian Hess and Gaby Alter. The Blogger: Whoremoans.  ░░
░░ Keyboards: Gm7. Backing vocal: Jessica Neighbor. Harmonica:  Doug       ░░
░░ Cheatwood. Drums: The Sturgenius. Scratching: DJ Snyder.                ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ When I wrote this song, I think LiveJournal was still ruling the roost. ░░
░░ Or maybe Blogger had gotten big. We definitely had not gotten to the    ░░
░░ point where the pros were all using their own Wordpress installations   ░░
░░ and the general public had jumped ship to Facebook. So "blog" was still ░░
░░ a word that meant "my personal diary, except on internet, and you should░░
░░ definitely read about what I had for lunch all week!" If anything, rank ░░
░░ and file internet folks have become MORE effusive about lunch and thus  ░░
░░ MORE boring and stupid than they were in 2006. But it's all mixed       ░░
░░ together in feeds. You never have to look at, like, one person's Twitter░░
░░ history by itself. And if you find a Tumblr about lunch, you're probably░░
░░ there because you're REALLY INTERESTED IN LUNCH, not because your aunt  ░░
░░ made you feel bad about how you don't keep up with her life. By which   ░░
░░ she means blog.                                                         ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ I'm permanently thankful to Whoremoans for taking my request that he    ░░
░░ portray The Shitty Blogger In Question and adding a little bit of       ░░
░░ politics to it. My idea of a villain whose only evil is banality would  ░░
░░ not have held up as well the hatey right-winger that we get a peek at   ░░
░░ (and who, it turns out, is the main kind of personal blogger still      ░░
░░ operating IRL in 2012).                                                 ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Sturgis created this drum part by accident. He was goofing around and   ░░
░░ making me laugh through the glass between the studio and the engineering░░
░░ room. You can hear him talking at the very end when he runs out of funny░░
░░ phrases to blurt out on the drums. Once I'd chopped all the choicest    ░░
░░ moments out of this bit of tape, I had a herky-jerky sprawl that I      ░░
░░ continue to find very satisfying.                                       ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 5.                                                                      ░░
░░ Pr0n S0ng                                                               ░░
░░ Album: Nerdcore Rising (2005). Lyric and Music by Damian Hess.          ░░
░░ Programming: Doctor Popular. Keyboard: Gm7.                             ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ This one's a list song, no question. Which means I had an idea and      ░░
░░ didn't really develop it any further than stacking examples that fit the░░
░░ idea. WORK HARDER FOR YOUR DINNER, RAPPER! I guess beyond the list we've░░
░░ got the notions that porn addiction exists, that internet porn is a     ░░
░░ gigantic departure from previous porn media (both in ease of access and ░░
░░ transgressiveness of content), and that in some scenario I would steal a░░
░░ drive from work after getting fired for jerking it in the office. But   ░░
░░ these notions are not so revelatory. If you wonder exactly how far I'm  ░░
░░ going to go with the list, maybe the barest element of suspense will    ░░
░░ manifest. Or maybe you can use this song as a purity test on potential  ░░
░░ romantic partners. You can tell, by watching someone's face while they  ░░
░░ listen, which porns they are and aren't entirely familiar with.         ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ I put this in because I love Doc Pop's circuit-bent thunder grind, and  ░░
░░ because I feel like my chorus melody came out okay, and because it is   ░░
░░ funny without having any punchlines (other than the porn title Nuns In  ░░
░░ Heat Part III: Bad Habits). Oh, and because I got through a whole song  ░░
░░ about smut without using a single dirty word (for some values of        ░░
░░ "without;" the verb "to spoo" is probably borderline).                  ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 6.                                                                      ░░
░░ Shame Of The Otaku                                                      ░░
░░ Album: Final Boss (2008). Lyric by Damian Hess. Translation by Daisuke  ░░
░░ K┼?zuki and Rai Kamishiro. Music by Damian Hess, Gaby Alter, and David  ░░
░░ T. Cheong. Chorus vocals: Rai Kamishiro. Keyboards: Gm7. Drums: The     ░░
░░ Categorical Imperative.                                                 ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ I was hanging out with a kid at a con in 2006 or 2007 and he was trying ░░
░░ to explain to me about otaku. I was not and am not a huge anime guy. I  ░░
░░ will always love Akira and the Miyazaki movies, and I'll watch old      ░░
░░ Robotech or FLCL or Cowboy Bebop if it's on, and let's be honest, I've  ░░
░░ seen more than a few hentai videos (on VHS, so suck it,                 ░░
░░ whippersnappers). But compared to my friends who devote entire rooms to ░░
░░ their import media collections, I don't know my anime ass from an anime ░░
░░ hole in the ground. And my ignorance of Japanese culture pretty much    ░░
░░ just unfurls from there. So this kid Rafi was explaining the difference ░░
░░ between otaku and nerd, and I was listening intently. He thought that   ░░
░░ the main thing was that the nerd identity in the USA has a pride (or at ░░
░░ least solidarity) movement attached, while in Japan it remains          ░░
░░ unutterably shameful to be an otaku. That sounded like an idea worth    ░░
░░ exploring. Was there room to launch an outreach program to our less     ░░
░░ advantaged dork brethren abroad? I told Jason Scott about my plan to    ░░
░░ write about otaku shame and he immediately burned me eight DVDs of      ░░
░░ Densha Otoko ("Train Nerd" is my inexpert translation), about a guy who ░░
░░ saves a lady on the subway and then rescues all his chat board buddies  ░░
░░ from despair by posting about going on dates with her. I watched it     ░░
░░ straight through, then wrote the whole song in a burst.                 ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ I still don't understand anything about Japanese culture, but Rai       ░░
░░ Kamishiro did a badass job helping me pretend like I do. I also quite   ░░
░░ like the music on this one. It is one of the finest recordings I ever   ░░
░░ got of The Categorical Imperative's drumming. And it is a great example ░░
░░ of what happens when I hand off a completed drum and verse lyric combo  ░░
░░ to Gm7 and let him work up the rest of the arrangement from scratch.    ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 7.                                                                      ░░
░░ Nerdcore Rising                                                         ░░
░░ Album: Nerdcore Rising (2005). Lyric by Damian Hess, Jesse McDonald, and░░
░░ Ken Lawrence. Music by Damian Hess. Rapping: MCF, Jesse Dangerously, MC ░░
░░ Hawking. Programming: DJ Earflaps and Baddd Spellah. Chorus keyboard:   ░░
░░ gm7. Backing Vocals: Gm7, Blak Lotus.                                   ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Fuck this song. I am thankful that people like it, and Jesse and Hawking░░
░░ both topped the leaderboard with their verses, but if I never hear this ░░
░░ song again I will be perfectly happy. We closed the show with it for the░░
░░ first four years of touring. Four years of trying to sing the chorus    ░░
░░ part every time I went onstage. And in all that time, I sang it right   ░░
░░ maybe twice. It is totally plausible that the total is once. Or never.  ░░
░░ My singing on the album track is not much better, so it's a good thing  ░░
░░ Blak Lotus (who was a member of our university's MOST prestigious a     ░░
░░ capella ensemble) is on there to cover me up. I put this on because it's░░
░░ an anthem, and people like anthems, and because they named a documentary░░
░░ after it, and because there remains a little bit of hope that you won't ░░
░░ have to be a tough guy, at some point in the future, to be a rapper.    ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ DJ Earflaps is an old homie of mine from the East Bay, and I am kind of ░░
░░ sad that we're out of touch. Maybe he will find these liner notes some  ░░
░░ day, and work with me on another beat.                                  ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 8.                                                                      ░░
░░ You Got Asperger's                                                      ░░
░░ Album: Secrets From The Future (2007). Lyric by Damian Hess. Music by   ░░
░░ Damian Hess, Gaby Alter, and David T. Cheong. Chorus vocal: Sam Bigelow.░░
░░ Keyboards: Gm7. Drums: The Sturgenius.                                  ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ I've always thought that every nerd I know operates somewhere on a      ░░
░░ spectrum between not quite having Asperger's Syndrome and TOTALLY HAVING░░
░░ ASPERGER'S SYNDROME. I'm no exception. Social cues and politeness have  ░░
░░ always been things I have to grasp intellectually and then devote some  ░░
░░ part of my attention to, as opposed to natural courses of interaction   ░░
░░ that I can just feel my way through. And the whole idea of managing and ░░
░░ weighing the comfort of those around me took a lot of years to          ░░
░░ internalize. Even now, it kind of stresses me out. It is just too much  ░░
░░ at odds with what would be (in a world without emotions) the optimal way░░
░░ to reach goals. In my case the issue is probably just that I'm an       ░░
░░ asshole. But I've met folks who have it way worse than I do. And the    ░░
░░ folks I've met who actually suffer from Asperger's have got it ROUGH.   ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ There's a kid who wandered up to my booth at PAX in 2005, ignored the   ░░
░░ sizable line, didn't say hi, and started rummaging through all the      ░░
░░ merch. He wanted to know if I had any free stuff (I didn't). He saw a   ░░
░░ laminated sheet describing my "merch purchasing RPG" in which you could ░░
░░ buy anything and then roll a d20 for some freebies. He REALLY wanted to ░░
░░ roll. Frustrated by the ruleset, he bought some stickers and then gave  ░░
░░ it a shot. His finger went directly from digging into his nose to       ░░
░░ reaching for the die -- "Other hand!" I told him. He didn't win, but he ░░
░░ came back every year, always cutting the line. After the Secrets album  ░░
░░ had been out for a while, he marched up kind of excited. "You have a    ░░
░░ song called You've Got Asperger's," he said. "Yeah!" I replied. "I'VE   ░░
░░ got Asperger's," he said. "I KNOW," I said, "that song is kind of about ░░
░░ you!" It's not about him, really. I don't know him very well. It's a    ░░
░░ story about how I imagine it might have been for him when he was in     ░░
░░ fifth or sixth grade.                                                   ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ The trick of the song is that if you don't have Asperger's, you latch   ░░
░░ onto the emotional tone of the chorus, which sounds like it is mocking  ░░
░░ Aspies (Sam did a great job treading the line between comedy and soul   ░░
░░ when he sang it), and if you DO have Asperger's, you ignore that shit   ░░
░░ and parse the verses, which paint what I hope is a sympathetic portrait ░░
░░ of a boy who can't connect with the girl he likes because her hair      ░░
░░ decorations are too distracting. And I will put this song on my         ░░
░░ favorites list forever just because Sturgis's drumming is so fantastic. ░░
░░ Listen to those goddamn ghost notes.                                    ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 9.                                                                      ░░
░░ Diseases Of Yore                                                        ░░
░░ Album: Final Boss (2008). Lyric by Damian Hess and Jonathan Coulton.    ░░
░░ Music by Damian Hess, Jonathan Coulton, David T. Cheong, and Gaby Alter.░░
░░ Chorus vocal and guitar: Jonathan Coulton. Drum programming: Baddd      ░░
░░ Spellah. Keyboards: Gm7.                                                ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ This is another stupid list song, but I try to save it in the third     ░░
░░ verse by pointing out that plenty of these quaint old ailments remain   ░░
░░ totally life-threatening in less affluent parts of the world. A little  ░░
░░ taste of politics saves anything from being entirely frivolous. That's a░░
░░ tip.                                                                    ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ I had met Jonathan at PAX and asked him if he'd like to do this. We took░░
░░ care of it over email and FTP, and I didn't know what he was going to do░░
░░ with the chorus until he delivered it. He absolutely nailed it, of      ░░
░░ course. He's Jonathan Coulton. His every waking breath is an epic win.  ░░
░░ On tour, we performed this for years with a five-voice harmonizing unit ░░
░░ that Blak Lotus would sing into, working the changes with a foot pedal  ░░
░░ while he played bass. We stopped doing that because it is ridiculous.   ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ All of the diseases in this song are (were) real except for Melancholy  ░░
░░ Ache, which I made up. Oh, and French Distemper is these days called    ░░
░░ syphilis. Obviously.                                                    ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 10.                                                                     ░░
░░ This Old Man                                                            ░░
░░ Album: Nerdcore Rising (2005). Lyric by Damian Hess. Music by Damian    ░░
░░ Hess, Gaby Alter, and David T. Cheong. Programming: Baddd Spellah.      ░░
░░ Keyboards: Gaby Alter and Baddd Spellah.                                ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ I feel like this song was directly inspired by Hard Knock Life, because ░░
░░ I remember hearing that and thinking that, oh, right, a children's song ░░
░░ contrasting with some hard rapping, that works perfectly, and, oh again,░░
░░ most children's music is in the public domain (not that the soundtrack  ░░
░░ to Annie is in the public domain, but you get my drift). I was writing  ░░
░░ for the Nerdcore Rising album and banging my head against how hard it   ░░
░░ was to get rid of all the samples from my existing songs. I wanted to   ░░
░░ use samples SO BADLY. So for this track, which I was assembling from    ░░
░░ scratch for the CD, reworking a public domain lyric felt a little bit   ░░
░░ like sampling. Or as close as I was going to get.                       ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ A couple things give this track staying power in my esteem. It is one of░░
░░ Spellah's most slamming drum patterns ever, and I still want to get up  ░░
░░ and move when I hear it. Gm7's string patch on the old JV-1010 sounds   ░░
░░ like a million bucks, as does his faux banjo performance. And although  ░░
░░ it's still true that I was, at 31 in 2005, too old to be starting a     ░░
░░ professional rap career, the sentiment has grown exponentially more     ░░
░░ resonant in the years since. Now when I sing the "thirty-year-old man   ░░
░░ belly" line onstage, all I can think about is how I'm going to have to  ░░
░░ change that to 40 pretty soon. Oof.                                     ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 11.                                                                     ░░
░░ Jacquelyn Hyde                                                          ░░
░░ Album: Zero Day (2010). Lyric by Damian Hess. Music by Damian Hess and  ░░
░░ Matt Steckler. Chorus vocal, keyboard: Ken Flagg. Saxophones, Flute:    ░░
░░ Matt Steckler. Djembe: Kevin Sport. Drum programming: Baddd Spellah.    ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ A song about breaking up with inanimate objects, and then, like every   ░░
░░ worst breaker-upper-wither, insisting that it was their fault. Matt is a░░
░░ fantastic sax player, Ken is a fantastic singer, and Kevin is a         ░░
░░ fantastic hand drummer. The three weave together beautifully and the    ░░
░░ overall effect is akin to that FM radio mournfulness that I remember    ░░
░░ from riding in cars in the late 70s. Carpenters, maybe? I don't know. In░░
░░ the late 70s, everyone was depressed. I like the serious tone of the    ░░
░░ music clashing with the absurdity of the premise. The music maybe even  ░░
░░ points you back at the breakup subjects and reminds you they are real,  ░░
░░ even if they run the gamut of weightiness (Playstation not functioning  ░░
░░ versus economy falling apart, having an ear infection versus marriage   ░░
░░ inequality making its way into the California state constitution).      ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ It is true, by the way, that my doctor told me I can't have corn syrup  ░░
░░ any more, and put me on Trilipix for a possibly genetic cholesterol     ░░
░░ condition. This old man indeed. Actually, all five of the verses are    ░░
░░ true. Mostly true. I never stayed up nights wondering who else my ear   ░░
░░ infection was having sex with. I'm actually pretty psyched when that    ░░
░░ thing isn't hanging around.                                             ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 12.                                                                     ░░
░░ Goth Girls                                                              ░░
░░ Album: Nerdcore Rising (2005). Lyric by Damian Hess. Music by Damian    ░░
░░ Hess, Gaby Alter, and David T. Cheong. Keyboards: Gaby Alter. Drum      ░░
░░ Programming: Baddd Spellah and MCF. Cello: John Nolt. Goth Girl:        ░░
░░ Darkchylde McGloomypants.                                               ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ So, yeah. I've always had a thing for goth girls. I mostly just like to ░░
░░ stare at them. But sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we made  ░░
░░ out.                                                                    ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ I think this song helped me become buddies with Jeffrey Rowland (author ░░
░░ of WIGU which contains Paisley Tinkle and Topato) and Jhonen Vasquez    ░░
░░ (author of Johnny The Homicidal Maniac). So if you are fans of comic    ░░
░░ book people and want them to be your friends, be sure to mention them in░░
░░ rap songs. Oh, and my gorey.ttf font is real. You can look it up and    ░░
░░ download it if you want. The Gorey estate actually uses it for all their░░
░░ merch (calendars and mugs and etc). That would probably be my claim to  ░░
░░ fame if I hadn't become a rapper.                                       ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 13.                                                                     ░░
░░ Stoop Sale                                                              ░░
░░ Album: Solved (2011). Lyric by Damian Hess. Music by Damian Hess, Gaby  ░░
░░ Alter, and David T. Cheong. Keyboard: Gm7. Drum programming and         ░░
░░ additional keyboard: Baddd Spellah.                                     ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ This is just about my favorite song that I've ever written. It is a     ░░
░░ whole story with a moral and everything, and it takes place right in    ░░
░░ front of my building in Lefferts Gardens in Brooklyn, and people like to░░
░░ argue over what exactly happens at the end, and the video has muppets in░░
░░ it. Gm7 and Spellah have really learned to play off each other's        ░░
░░ strengths over the years, and this beat proves it. Dis all my other shit░░
░░ if you have to, but if you don't like this track, we can't be friends.  ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ I'm just kidding, we can probably still be friends.                     ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 14.                                                                     ░░
░░ Scare Goat                                                              ░░
░░ Album: Final Boss (2008). Lyric by Damian Hess and Glen Phillips. Music ░░
░░ by Damian Hess, Glen Phillips, Gaby Alter, and David T. Cheong. Chorus  ░░
░░ vocal: Glen Phillips. Keyboards: Gm7 and Baddd Spellah. Drum            ░░
░░ programming: MC Frontalot and Baddd Spellah. Drums: The Sturgenius.     ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Here's another fucking list song. Let's not talk about that.            ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ I saw on MySpace, somehow, that a person claiming to be Glen Phillips   ░░
░░ (lead vocalist of the ONLY 90s alt-rock hitmakers to name their band    ░░
░░ after a Monty Python bit)(that's Toad The Wet Sprocket, whipersnappers) ░░
░░ had listed MC Frontalot in the little section where you type all the    ░░
░░ bands you like. I thought that was pretty groovy, so I reached out to   ░░
░░ say hi. He put me on the guest list when he came through town, and I got░░
░░ to see him cover a little bit of Braggadacio during his set. This       ░░
░░ remains a particularly cool moment in my life. He kindly agreed to do a ░░
░░ chorus on the Final Boss record, and I sent him a lyric idea. He        ░░
░░ recorded that one and one of his own devising, so I suddenly had two    ░░
░░ choruses for one song. Gm7 (who knows better than I how to put songs    ░░
░░ together) begged me to use one as the bridge and one as a chorus proper,░░
░░ but I couldn't get satisfied with that and hacked together this         ░░
░░ alternating chorus version about two days before our mastering deadline.░░
░░ I'm glad I did, because I think it is not quite as annoying as Gm7      ░░
░░ thought it would be, and it is definitely off-kilter and a little       ░░
░░ surprising to the ear.                                                  ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ I love this kind of start-and-stop feel in a hip-hop beat. It is a weird░░
░░ frankensteining of what Sturgis played and Spellah's augmentation. It   ░░
░░ lands harder than anything else on Final Boss. Big thanks to Jeffrey    ░░
░░ Rowland for telling me I had to do a song about cryptozoology in the    ░░
░░ first place.                                                            ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 15.                                                                     ░░
░░ Colonel, Panic!                                                         ░░
░░ Album: Solved (2011). Lyric by Damian Hess. Music by Damian Hess and    ░░
░░ Gaby Alter. Drums: The Sturgenius. Keyboard: Gm7.                       ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ This one's a sci-fi story that is secretly a political song. I do not   ░░
░░ like how even when we elect the most liberal commander in chief on the  ░░
░░ ballot, we can't go eight months without starting a new war in the      ░░
░░ middle east. I do not like how we continue to prop up dictators when    ░░
░░ it's profitable and then, as soon as they stop being useful, pretend    ░░
░░ they were always on our shit list and bomb them to death. I do not like ░░
░░ how we've decided that it's okay to kill villagers in far-away places   ░░
░░ with our flying sky robots. I do not like various things about our      ░░
░░ foreign policy! But if the Terminator movies (and their more badass     ░░
░░ ripoffs like Hardware) have taught us anything, it's that FLYING SKY    ░░
░░ ROBOTS ARE PROBABLY A BAD IDEA.                                         ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ The cute thing in this story, of course, is that the military is        ░░
░░ panicking about losing control of the machines because they think that  ░░
░░ this means all the missiles are going to launch, when actually the newly░░
░░ sentient master control has decided to become a pacifist, which is MUCH ░░
░░ WORSE (for military people)(but probably pretty awesome for the rest of ░░
░░ us).                                                                    ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ I tried to sing this chorus part but couldn't figure out how it was     ░░
░░ supposed to go, then vocoded each note into different places until it   ░░
░░ made sense. So the robots really are singing it as much as I am. That   ░░
░░ makes me happy.                                                         ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 16.                                                                     ░░
░░ Origin Of Species                                                       ░░
░░ Album: Secrets From The Future (2007). Lyric by Damian Hess. Music by   ░░
░░ Damian Hess, Gaby Alter, and David T. Cheong. Guitar: Alec Berlin.      ░░
░░ Chorus vocal: Jessica Neighbor. Programming: Baddd Spellah. Organ: Gm7. ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ This beat originally came from Baddd Spellah with a stock Reason guitar ░░
░░ sample in it, which I didn't want to use, because stock samples are for ░░
░░ suckas. Fortunately, guitar genius Alec Berlin had a free evening, and  ░░
░░ he used his slide steel to replace the sample with something a hundred  ░░
░░ times more awesome. Jessica's earnest chorus treatment manages to be    ░░
░░ soulful and backwoods at the same time, and nicely hides my lower       ░░
░░ harmony's defective tone and pitch.                                     ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ So-called Intelligent Design pisses me off, as it pisses off most nerd  ░░
░░ folk. It doesn't bother me that some people want to believe that they   ░░
░░ came from mythical origins, and if ID were simply positing that God     ░░
░░ invented chemistry and physics and then chilled out while the universe  ░░
░░ and this planet in particular took it from there, I'd think of it as    ░░
░░ kind of a pleasing upgrade to the Old Testament creation story. But of  ░░
░░ course that's not what ID is. ID is an organized, systematic program of ░░
░░ lies which seeks to trick people of faith into imagining that some      ░░
░░ version of science is speaking to their hearts. It is a weapon in a     ░░
░░ cultural war, in which powerful people would like to maintain their     ░░
░░ control over credulous people by convincing them that evolution is      ░░
░░ controversial and that rigorous research would somehow point to the     ░░
░░ involvement of a higher power. I'm all for faith and mystery. But can't ░░
░░ we ascribe the things we ACTUALLY don't understand to God? Let God be in░░
░░ charge of time, gravity, and magnets. And when we figure those out, he  ░░
░░ or she can be in charge of dark matter and anti-boson particles, or     ░░
░░ whatever the fuck. Stop trying to destroy knowledge just so that your   ░░
░░ flock is easier to herd! It's anti-human and it's gross.                ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ That said, the people at the top who push ID are my targets in this     ░░
░░ song, and not the flock itself. By the time you grow into an adult      ░░
░░ churchgoer, I feel like most of your beliefs aren't your fault any more.░░
░░ You grew up with them, you built them into who you are, and you're stuck░░
░░ with them. If they are not beliefs that are compatible with the modern  ░░
░░ world, I feel sympathy. That must be tough. It must be challenging to   ░░
░░ raise kids who are more interested in the scientific method than in the ░░
░░ hand of God, and have those kids come home and report that their biology░░
░░ teacher agrees with them about how dumb you are. I understand why those ░░
░░ parents are hostile toward science. But I do not have any sympathy when ░░
░░ they let themselves get leveraged by this country's right wing and are  ░░
░░ suddenly trying to deprive everyone else's kids of a decent education.  ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Anyway, my sympathy with and interest in what might make Reverend       ░░
░░ Aloud's congregants latch so fiercely onto his message definitely found ░░
░░ its way into the lyric. Which is why there's a five-zillion-post youtube░░
░░ thread of people arguing over whether this song is satirical or earnest.░░
░░ To me, that very confusion is proof of a successful satire. But since   ░░
░░ it's a youtube argument, neither side ends up looking very good. Don't  ░░
░░ read it.                                                                ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 17.                                                                     ░░
░░ First World Problem                                                     ░░
░░ Album: Zero Day (2010). Lyric by Damian Hess. Music by Damian Hess, Gaby░░
░░ Alter, and David T. Cheong. Keyboards: Gm7. Drum programming, additional░░
░░ keyboards: Baddd Spellah. Scratching: Daniel Wilkes.                    ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ The very idea of observing and critiquing first world problems is       ░░
░░ political, plus hilarious, and when I saw Sara J Benincasa doing it on  ░░
░░ Twitter I wanted to make a song about it immediately. It was in great   ░░
░░ danger of becoming a list song, but I feel like it went somewhere else. ░░
░░ The rich guy in the second verse torturing his servants because his     ░░
░░ Rogaine isn't working seems a little more potent than a joke list would ░░
░░ have been. I mean, I did the joke list anyway, but I saved it for the   ░░
░░ choruses. I think the best one is "scheduling your root canal" because  ░░
░░ it takes a LOT of perspective to go through something that painful and  ░░
░░ still realize that you're blessed to have been born in a society wealthy░░
░░ enough to provide root canals. In some parts of the world, your jaw just░░
░░ rots off.                                                               ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Some teenager recorded a version the next year, which is basically a    ░░
░░ remake of my chorus with straight-up list song verses. And he got fifty ░░
░░ times as many views on his version, so go figure.                       ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 18.                                                                     ░░
░░ I'll Form The Head                                                      ░░
░░ Album: Solved (2011). Lyric by Damian Hess, Beau Fa'asamala, and Joshua ░░
░░ Watson. Music by Damian Hess, Gaby Alter, and David T. Cheong. Rapping: ░░
░░ MCF, ZeaLouS1, and Dr. Awkward. Drums: The Sturgenius. Keyboard: Gm7.   ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ I was backstage on tour and I have a pretty strong memory of Schaffer   ░░
░░ the Darklord saying to me, "Hey! You should make a song called I'll Form░░
░░ The Head." He says he has no memory of that, which is awesome, because  ░░
░░ now he can't sue me for royalties.                                      ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Zealous and Awk are amazing rappers, the kind of kids who make me proud ░░
░░ that nerdcore is an actual thing instead of just a dumb word I write on ░░
░░ my press releases. I was glad to feature them on this song. Plus it has ░░
░░ a call and response section at the end of the chorus, which I almost    ░░
░░ never remember to include in songs, even though you should pretty much  ░░
░░ have one in every rap track.                                            ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 19.                                                                     ░░
░░ A Little Bit Broad                                                      ░░
░░ Album: Zero Day (2010). Lyric by Damian Hess. Music by Damian Hess, Gaby░░
░░ Alter, and David T. Cheong. Chorus vocal: Ken Flagg. Keyboards: Gm7.    ░░
░░ Drum programming, additional keyboards: Baddd Spellah. Guitar: Alec     ░░
░░ Berlin. Scratching: Daniel Wilkes.                                      ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ This is the one that seeks to explain and defend nerdcore, as a concept,░░
░░ as a movement, as a thing that might fail to be fully either of those   ░░
░░ things but is still worth putting in your ear holes. It was too long,   ░░
░░ but we solved that by giving the first half verse to Snyder to turn into░░
░░ a scratch routine. He totally disassembled my rhythmic intent there,    ░░
░░ which was hard for me to roll with, but listening to it now, it makes   ░░
░░ the whole song work much better than it would have. I love Alec's       ░░
░░ strangled-to-death guitar hook and Ken's mod rock singing. Mostly I     ░░
░░ leave the raps that are about rapping to other, more capable rappers. So░░
░░ when I do one, I try to make it count.                                  ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ 20.                                                                     ░░
░░ Secrets From The Future                                                 ░░
░░ Album: Secrets From The Future (2007). Lyric by Damian Hess. Music by   ░░
░░ Damian Hess, Gaby Alter, and David T. Cheong. Backing vocal: Ganda      ░░
░░ Suthivarakom. Drum programming: Baddd Spellah. Keyboards:  Gm7.         ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ I knew I wanted to do a track about cryptography, just because it's a   ░░
░░ fascinating discipline with a rich and swashbuckling history. But I     ░░
░░ needed a conceptual hook in order to -- you guessed it -- keep it from  ░░
░░ becoming a list song. The thing that caught my imagination was the fact ░░
░░ that any brute-force-vulnerable cipher grows increasingly worthless as  ░░
░░ computing power expands over time. And over that same time, the sheer   ░░
░░ volume of private data that humans commit to media multiplies. So, in   ░░
░░ the far future, you might have your life confessions echoing through    ░░
░░ some kind of limitless cloud storage, but nobody's going to bother to   ░░
░░ pick them out from the trillions of terabytes of other dead people's    ░░
░░ equally private flotsam. Unless! Unless the lock on the diary is in and ░░
░░ of itself compelling, perhaps by presenting a challenging decryption    ░░
░░ puzzle. So you could make yourself immortal by hiding your shit really  ░░
░░ carefully, even though the hiding would fail, or rather, BECAUSE the    ░░
░░ hiding would fail.                                                      ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Also I want to point out that at the end of the third verse, secrets and░░
░░ calculations are having a one-night stand, and the computer is the one  ░░
░░ that gets up and leaves and never calls again. Or maybe it will! Nobody ░░
░░ knows the future, now. Be patient.                                      ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Ganda is an old friend of mine and Gm7's from our Emerald Rain          ░░
░░ Production rock opera theater company days. Her singing is always       ░░
░░ brilliant, and she shines through this even though I was trying to get  ░░
░░ her to do a Portishead rip-off. Gm7's synth hook reminds me of a little ░░
░░ analog toy music box churning uncertainly forward, and I like it more   ░░
░░ than almost anything else he's every played for me. We used to do this  ░░
░░ in concert but I always saw people yawning by the third verse, and I was░░
░░ too vain to cut the song down to a more reasonable length. I am glad    ░░
░░ that the album recording came out just right. I will at some point put  ░░
░░ the MP3 through the absurd series of encryptions described in the first ░░
░░ verse, so that future people will have some reason to crack it open and ░░
░░ listen to it.                                                           ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
░░ Lyrics are all available at frontalot.com/lyrics                        ░░
░░ Compilation (C)2012 Level Up Records & Tapes                            ░░
░░ All songs published by Nerdcore Fervor Conglomerated (ASCAP)            ░░
░░                                                                         ░░
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 ░░                                                                       ░░░
 ░░                                                                       ░░░
 ░░              THIS IS *NOT* A SUBSTITUTE OF THE ORIGINAL.              ░░░
 ░░ --------------------------------------------------------------------- ░░░
 ░░                                                                       ░░░
 ░░ NB   TRACKNAMES:                                          LENGHT:     ░░░
 ░░                                                                       ░░░
 ░░ 01.  tongue-clucking grammarian                           03:02       ░░░
 ░░ 02.  charisma potion                                      04:01       ░░░
 ░░ 03.  power user                                           04:25       ░░░
 ░░ 04.  i hate your blog                                     04:05       ░░░
 ░░ 05.  pr0n s0ng                                            03:27       ░░░
 ░░ 06.  shame of the otaku                                   03:50       ░░░
 ░░ 07.  nerdcore rising                                      04:41       ░░░
 ░░ 08.  you got asperger's                                   05:12       ░░░
 ░░ 09.  diseases of yore                                     03:18       ░░░
 ░░ 10.  this old man                                         03:41       ░░░
 ░░ 11.  jacquelyn hyde                                       03:46       ░░░
 ░░ 12.  goth girls                                           04:22       ░░░
 ░░ 13.  stoop sale                                           03:50       ░░░
 ░░ 14.  scare goat                                           03:50       ░░░
 ░░ 15.  colonel, panic!                                      03:36       ░░░
 ░░ 16.  origin of species                                    04:01       ░░░
 ░░ 17.  first world problem                                  03:42       ░░░
 ░░ 18.  i'll form the head                                   05:07       ░░░
 ░░ 19.  a little bit broad                                   03:45       ░░░
 ░░ 20.  secrets from the future                              04:50       ░░░
 ░░                                                           80:31 min   ░░░
 ░░ --------------------------------------------------------------------- ░░░
 ░░  TO THE INVOLVED ARTIST(S), CONSIDER THIS AS A FREE WORLDWIDE PROMO   ░░░
 ░░     CAMPAIGN.  TO THE END (L)USERS, SUPPORT HE ARTIST(S) OR DEL!      ░░░
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 ░▓                                                                  ▀▓▓░░▓░░
 ░▓  ADDiCTED TO MUSiC, AGAiNST THE REST,                              █▓░▓░░
 ░▒  DECiBEL COURiERS, dissident,                                       █▓▓░░
 ░▒  EViGHET,                                                            █▓░░
 ░▒  iMAGiNE, iNTERNET MUSiC PiRATE GUiLD,                                ▓░░
 ░░  LOGOS,                                                               ▒░░
 ░░  MEN iN PiNK, MiNDSCAPE, MiNDSCAPE_JAZZ,                              ▒░░
 ░░  NEW WORLD ORDER MP3,                                                 ▒░░
 ░░  OTAKU,                                                                ░░
 ░░  PROViDERS OF SOUND,                                                   ░░
 ░░  SUPERiOR ART CREATiONS, SYNTHESiS MEDiA,                              ░░
 ░░  WALL OF SOUND, WE LOVE WAREZ MP3 &                                    ░░
 ░░                                                                        ░░
 ░░              ALL OF OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY HERE AND GONE...            ░░
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 ░░                                                                        ░░
 ░░    "Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it."    ░░
 ░░                                                                        ░░
 ░░                                                  George Santayana      ░░
 ░░                                                                        ░░
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 ░░           ▄▄█▓▀ ▄▄             - IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS RELEASE THEN   ░░
 ░░   ▄▄▓███▓▓▓░░███▓▓▓▄▄▄           WHO CARES??                           ░░
 ░░ ▄▓████▀░░▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▓█▄▄                                             ░░
 ░ ▄▀▀▄░░░▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▓▓██▄   - WE SHIT ON *ALL* SCENE-IDIOTS:        ░░
 ░  ▄░░▒▒▓▓▓▓█▀▀▀▀▀▓▓██▀▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▓█    "H8ERS", NUKERS, PUBBERS, ORQUE AND   ░░
 ░ █▓▓▓▀██▓▀▀▀▄▓▒░░▄██▌░░  ▓▀▓▓▓▓█   MAYBE ON YOU TOO?!?                   ░░
  █▓▓▀▄▓█▓▓░░░░█████▓█▓▄▄▄█▓ ▀▓▀▓▓                                         ░░
  █▀ █▓▀▓███▄▄▄███▓▓▓█████▓█▀▄▐▌ █ - WE ONLY BELIEVE THAT TUESDAY STORE    ░░
     █ ▐█████▀ ████▓▓█▌▀██▓▓ ▐▓      PICKUPS IS TEH BEST MUSIC EVAAAAAAR!  ░░
  ░     ███▀   ▐████▓█▓ ▐▓▀  ▀                                             ░░
 ░░      ▓     ███▓███▓ ▀      - WE CONSTANTLY LOOKING FOR 100TB/S, 50PBS  ░░
 ░░           ▐███▓▓██▌  W/ 0SEC ATTITUDE THAT CAN'T ACHIEVE MORE THAN SIX ░░
 ░░            ██▓▓▓▓█▌ MONTHS OF UPTIME.  WHQ SPOT AVAILABLE!!            ░░
  ░            ▓█▓▒▒▓█                                                     ░░
 ░░            ██▒▒▒▓█▌                                                    ░░
 ░░           ▐█▌░▒▒▓██                     YOUR **TRUE** PSEUDO-FRiENDS.  ░░
 ░░           ▐█▌░░▒▓█▌                                                    ░░
░░░            ██▒░▒▓█▌ ▓  ▄■                        WASHED UP SCENESTERS  ░░
░▒░            ▐█▌▓▀▓█▌ ▓▄▓ ·                                         '12  ░░
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